Low Self-Esteem

I wonder how many of you out there suffer from low self-esteem??? (Sorry if that is not how you spell it).

I suffer from it most of the time and I have absolutely nil confidence. Ever since I have been with hubby the one bone of contention between us is my hating my body and feeling “fat and ugly” and covering myself up under long nighties (usually two sizes too big, but have come to a compromise with hubby, the long nighties can stay as long as they are actually the size I am, ie a size 14. Up until a couple of months ago a couple of my nighties were sizes 20-22 which is what I was a few years ago, but threw them out and replaced them with prettier size 14 ones.

The reason I bring this topic up is that the past couple of days I have been feeling really “fat and ugly” and really depressed about it. So much so that last night hubby and I had a little falling out about it and I cried myself to sleep, only to wake up this morning feeling even more worthless.

To try and make myself feel a bit better I dyed my hair (the grey was getting really bad and even my father had begun pointing it out!!! 😳 ) The colour is block standard dark brown but for some reason it looks darker, perhaps after a couple of washes it will lighten up.

I had a lovely “Tesco’s Finest” Easter Egg which will probably last me a couple of weeks to eat and for those of you that are saying “why did he buy her an easter egg when she is on a diet??” I assured him that it would be okay as I am not one to eat a lot of chocolate all at once and will last me an age, my usualy trick is to buy the treat size chocolates and freeze them, then eat them frozen so that it takes me twice as long as usual to finish them.

My sister is still not herself, so I will have to spend the odd night there with her to keep her company, all I have to do is work out when!

Since Friday I have had the most awful headache, I thought it was a migraine but my “Imigran” tablets were not working, so I have had to take my “Co-Codamol” tablets which are really strong, they work for around an hour and then the headache is back with a vengeance.

Oh well, it looks like this post is a pity party for one again, sorry, I promise to try and post something cheerful soon (well as soon as it happens anyway).

On a slightly lighter note I have nearly completed hubby’s top, all I have to do is sew it up and then the dreaded sewing in the zip. I have never sewed a zip into a handknit item so all tips and advice greatly appreciated as I would hate to make a mess of it this far into completion.

I hope you are all having a great Easter Bank Holiday and don’t eat too much chocolate, as for me hopefully it will be a bit warmer tomorrow so I can go and dig up my veggie patch ready to plant my new veggie plants.

Happy Easter


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