I am sorry for not posting yesterday letting you all know how I got on at the IVF meeting but have been feeling unwell all week and it has finally come to a head this morning and feel like I have a terrible head cold.
The meeting went well. We got there 6.10pm and went in around 6.25pm. We found the Education Centre easily and was very surprised at the amount of couples which attended. The staff on reception were very polite and seemed very organized and nice.
We spoke to a couple whom live around where we live (they mentioned our local hospital and I mentioned that we were from the same area), they did not appear to be very keen to speak to us so we left it at that.
We were given a large information pack containing forms for blood tests etc and consent forms for the treatment.
After around half an hour we were instructed to go into the seminar room, which we duly did and sat on the third row (we didn’t feel brave enough to sit any closer to the front). The staff went through all the procedures from completing the forms to the very end and the 2 week wait (after two weeks we can have a pregnancy test to see whether the treatment was successful or not).
We picked up a couple of useful facts, one of which is that due to the fact we live in Wales we will only be eligible for one free “Fresh” cycle and one free “Frozen” cycle. If we lived in England we would have been eligible for two free “Fresh” cycles and four free “Frozen” cycles. This annoyed me as we have to travel 103 miles over to England to have the treatment and then 103 miles back which in this day and age is costly.
The next step is for hubby to have a SA (semen analysis) and for both of us to have blood tests (mine on day 2-5 and hubby any time). The SA was already pre-arranged for the 6th of June at 8.45am – 9.30am. We did telephone yesterday to try and get a later time as it will take us 2 1/2 hours to get to the hospital so would have to leave at a dreadfully early time of the morning, but it appears that they only do that test between those times. So it looks like a very early morning after all.
I am due to start my monthlies next week and have decided to go for my testing the cycle after as I still need to lose weight to get my BMI to below 29 (and hubby needs to lose some weight also) so it will give me an extra month to lose it. I have decided to start the Atkins again as I know that I will lose the weight relatively quickly as I have done it before and lost over 2 stone on it.
I am rather nervous about starting the treatment, especially the side effects of all the drugs I will have to take. Hubby has not been the most sympathetic about my medical conditions lately and it has stressed me a great deal as I cannot help being unwell and I try and do what I can when I am feeling well. This morning I was feeling very unwell, my head and throat and ears were hurting a great deal so left a note for hubby to pick up some head cold tablets for me whilst he was out and he has been in a mood with all day.
I am worried that if he is like this now, what will he be like if I suffer the extreme side effects from the drugs!!! I am hoping that when he reads this he realises how tough things are on me at the moment (here’s hoping anyway as I can’t face another day of him hardly speaking to me). It is very upsetting and stressful for me when he is like this as when he is not feeling too good I try and do what I can to make him feel better. I think I am going to have to think seriously about this before I sign the consent forms and agree to undergo IVF as stress and upset would only make the treatment more difficult.
I am fully aware that our infertility affects him as much as me but I always try and make him feel better about things and offer for him to speak about how he is feeling but the offer is never accepted or reciprocated. They mentioned during the seminar that it is vital that couples talk to each other and also listen to each other as it can be very lonely going through all of this if you feel alone.
At the moment I feel like this is the only place I can talk about how I feel without being accused of “having a go” or feeling like I am not being listened to. An example is yesterday, hubby told me he was worried about having the HIV blood test (we both have to have it) and I tried to find out why, he stated that it was because “it was different”, I replied that it was just a standard blood test and unless he was worried that he had put himself at risk at some point in his life there was nothing really to be worried about. He replied that he wasn’t worried about that just that it was different to what we have had before!! I didn’t understand what he was trying to say and we ended up getting grumpy with each other (I still don’t understand why he is worried!!).
If there is someone out there reading this that can help me try and understand what he is going through then please message me as I need all the help I can get to try and help him get through this situation. We were told that Infertility Treatment is like being on an emotional rollercoaster, I have felt like this for 11 years (since we found out we were having problems getting pregnant). There is so much going through my mind that I cannot sleep and keep waking up worrying. I really need someone to talk to and am considering going for counselling, I tried to speak to my little sister this evening but she doesn’t really understand what I am going through (although she did do her best by sitting and listending and asking relevant questions).
Oh well, I suppose I had better switch the light off again and try and get some sleep as I am worn out and my head and throat are hurting again.
Speak to you all soon!!!