A Liver Abnormality

The past week has been a nightmare.

Last weekend I went to Cheshire Oaks with my parents and had two large cold sores on the right side of my lips. They were really swollen so I went along to Boots the Chemist and spoke to the Pharmacist about them. She said they looked like they were infected and as I was going through ICSI I should go straight away to see my GP to get some antibiotics.

All day Sunday I was vomitting and was really unwell. Everywhere was spinning and I couldn’t keep anything down and my glands had begun to swell up on the right side of my neck so I decided to make an appointment the next day with my GP.

On Monday mornng I telephoned my dr’s surgery and got an appointment with a locum which I would not normally do due to my complicated medical history, but as it was just about an infected cold sore I went along.

My first impression of him was that he was nice and thorough. He kept calling me “love” which made me laugh. He checked me over and decided that I should have some blood tests done straight away along with a stool sample as I was still suffering with diarroeah on and off due to the Buserelin.

Since the bloods for that day had already been taken to the hospital we decided that the nurse should take them and I would drive up to the hospital with my samples. At this point he did not mention anything about what he thought was wrong and I just assumed he wanted to make sure that it was the Buserelin which was making me feel a bit unwell.

Since I had my Baseline Scan in Liverpool on Wednesday it was agreed that the tests should be hurried up so that I would have the results to go with me.

On the Tuesday morning at 9am I had a telephone call from this Locum telling me to stop my injections as I had some Liver Abnormalities and it was due to a severe adherse reaction to the Buserelin. He said he would telephone Liverpool and would phone me back.

As soon as I came off of the telephone I burst out in tears and woke hubby up and told him what had happened. We decided to telephone Liverpool ourselves to see what they said.

As I was so upset hubby rang Liverpool and explained what had been said. Hubby passed the phone over to me so that I could clarify what had happened and they said they would phone us back in half an hour as they wanted to speak to a Consultant.

Half and hour later I had a telephone call back from Liverpool and they said that they did not think it was the Buserelin which had raised my Liver Enzymes as there was no history of it having done this in the past to any other patients and that if necessary I could change over to Synarel which you sniffed rather than injected. She said not to worry and she would see me the next day at my appointment, oh and I should still take that evenings injection. I came off of the phone relieved that my ICSI treatment was still going ahead.

Shortly after I had another telephone call off of the Locum who informed me that my cycle as being cancelled and I was to stop my injections straight away and he would see me on Friday. At this I was distraught. I broke down crying and did not know what to do. All I could think of was that my chance of having a baby had been taken away from me.

Through all of this I realised that I had actually NOT had any symptoms of having problems with my Liver. The locum had asked me whether I had had any stomach pains, any bleeding etc and I had not had any of them.

After a few minutes we decided to telephone Liverpool again and find out what was happening. The Sister who I spoke to told me she had spoken to the Locum and that it was a possibility that my cycle would be cancelled as it may not be safe if I fell pregnant, but I was to take that evenings injection and we would discuss it all the next day.

The next few hours was spent with my crying as hubby had had to go to work. I really did not know what to do and really felt like my depression had struck again as I did not feel like I could cope anymore.

Just as I managed to calm myself down a little bit the Locum telephoned me again wanting to know what dosage etc I was taking of the Buserelin as he was writing out a report to send of reporting that I had had a severe adherse reaction to it. I tried to explain to him that it wasn’t due to that and I did not want my cycle to be cancelled and he just ignored me.

The rest of the day and night was spent with my panicking and crying. Hubby came home with the results of my blood tests as we had to take a copy to Liverpool with us, so I did what I do best, I researched each result which was high.

After the second test I had researched I realised that they all had one thing in common, “Pancreatitis”. I continued through the other three results and again they all came up with Pancreatitis being an option of why they would be high. I soon realised that when I was ill on Sunday I had been bringing up a lot of bile and I had been having a lot of heartburn and acid since I had stopped taking my medication over a fortnight before. This all began to make sense. My pancreas had started to act up due to not being regulated with the medication I was supposed to take, the added stress of treatment and lack of sleep had probably also started it off again.

I was so relieved that I finally had an answer to what all of this was about. Once this had sunk in I became angry that this stupid Locum had NOT read my notes, as if he had he would have known I had come off all of my medication and I had Pancreatitis. I printed off all of my findings and went to bed to try and get some sleep.

Wednesday morning I woke up early all ready to go to Liverpool and fight my case. I had not slept much so was feeling rather crap but was feeling a little bit positive.

Once we were in Liverpool my baseline scan was done and I was told everything was looking good. My Uterine Lining was lovely and thin and both of my ovaries were clear. We were then called into a room with a nurse whom we had dealt with a couple of times before to discuss my blood test results. I told her what I had found and explained that I believed they were high due to my Pancreatitis and the fact that I had come off of my medication. She went and spoke to a Consultant and came back and said he was reasonably happy for me to continue but she would have to speak to the main man in charge to confirm that it would be safe for me to continue with the cycle with my Pancreatitis. I explained that the Consultant I had seen a couple of years ago with regards to my Pancreatitis had assured me that it would be safe for me to become pregnant.

Again she went out of the room to discuss my case. It felt like an age until she came back, hubby and I had everything possible crossed and I was begging God to let us continue the cycle. I don’t know what I would do if she came back and said no. A while later she came back and told us that the Consultant was happy for us to continue as long as I went and saw my regular GP and discussed my medication and also for them to inform the Obstetrician at our local hospital that if the treatment worked then it would be a high risk pregnancy. I agreed to do this straight away. We were so relieved, all I wanted to do was cry but managed to hold it in.

She went through our next lot of injections with us which are more complicated and loaded us up with my needles and syringes etc and told us to start the Stimulating Injections with the Menopur on Saturday and to continue with the Buserelin. She also said she would see us on the 10th of November for my next scan and if that went well then Egg Collection would be on the 12th of November and Egg Transfer would be on the 14th of November. If my eggs weren’t big enough then Egg Collection would probably be on the 13th of November and Egg Transfer on the 15th of November.

Things now see very real and I am beginning to feel very very very positive. Surely with all of this bad luck I have had with my treatment I am due some good luck.

True to my word I made an appointment with one of my regular GP’s and have an appointment with them on Monday morning to discuss my medication etc.

As you will now probably agree with me it has been a week from hell and I am really hoping the rest of my cycle goes better. I really want this to work and I intend doing everything it takes for me to do my best for it to work so that I have no regrets of “what ifs” if it doesn’t work.

Please keep your fingers crossed for me and if you are on good terms with God then please put in a good word for me as I need all the help I can get in the rest of this cycle going smoothly and to have a positive outcome at the end of it all.


Etsy and Life

Yippee, I have sold two pairs of handknit socks on Etsy.  One pair was to a lady in London and the second pair was unbelievably to a lady in Australia.  I am so pleased…:DD

I have some more pairs of socks to put on Etsy over the next couple of days and am in the middle of knitting a dog coat and also come scarves etc to sell on it.  So watch out they’ll appearing soon :))

The past few days have been really hectic, on Tuesday I went Christmas Shopping with my mum and has a really busy day.  Managed to get a few Christmas presents which was good and am off to Cheshire Oaks on Saturday with my mum and dad on Saturday so am looking forward to being spoilt. 

I definitely deserve being spoilt as I have been going through a rough patch with the ICSI injections.  My moods have been all over the place and I have been crying at the drop of a hat.  I am hoping I will feel a bit better once I have my baseline scan on Wednesday.  At the moment I am feeling very negative about the treatment.  I don’t know why, but I just feel that it is going to fail.  Everyone is narked with me about being so negative but I can’t help it, I guess that 11 years of trying for a baby will take it toll on me and they do say that ICSI is like a rollercoaster.

The Buserelin which I am having every day is making me feel so tired, yet I am not sleeping much which is really annoying as I am shattered.  I have no concentration so have not been able to knit much which is a bit of a worry as I have an order for a Christmas Stocking from a lady in America which needs knitting up, but I just can’t concentrate in working out the pattern as I am coping a stocking which she already has.  I also can’t concentrate on reading which again is really unusual for me as I love reading.  It is a real nuisance.

The past couple of days I have been trying to keep myself busy, so tidied up the hobby room on Wednesday as I really want to get a Steam Press.  My mum has just bought one and it is brilliant and would be great if I do fall pregnant as it is so quick and I would not have to drag out the ironing board and my steam generator which is heavy, also it would be ideal for baby clothes and hubbies work clothes.

Today I made my Christmas Cake and even made 4 apple and blackberry crumbles.  They looked lovely and smelt divine, but couldn’t cook one to eat as my Christmas cake was in the oven so had the remainder of the Bread and Butter Pudding which I made yesterday.  I also had a giant bowl of stew which I cooked overnight in the Slow Cooker.

Tomorrow I think I will do the small amount of ironing and then will take it easy.  If I feel like I can concentrate then I may try and begin designing the Christmas Stocking as the yarn has arrived this afternoon for it.

I am hoping to take some pictures of some of the items I have completed knitting over the next few days so will post those soon.

By the way I still haven’t forgotten about the knitting dvd reviews, I just don’t have the concentration at the moment to re-watch them but promise to try and do it soon.



A Poem For Our Angels

Whilst going through some Infertility Support Groups I found this lovely poem and wish I had found it when going through my last Miscarriage.

A Poem For Our Angels:

Just Those Few Weeks

For those few weeks-
I had you to myself.
And that seems too short of time
To be changed so profoundly.

In those few weeks-
I came to know you…
And to love you.
You came to trust me with your life.
Oh, what a life I had planned for you!

Just those few weeks-
When I lost you,
I lost a lifetime of hopes,
plans, dreams, and aspirations…
A slice of my future simply vanished overnight.

Just those few weeks-
It wasn’t enough time to convince others
How special and important you were.
How odd, a truly unique person has recently died
And no one is mourning the passing.

Just a mere few weeks-
And no “normal” person would cry all night
Over a tiny, unfinished baby,
Or get depressed and withdraw day after endless day.
No one would, so why am I?

You were just those few weeks my little one
You darted in and out of my life too quickly.
But it seems that’s all the time you needed
To make my life so much richer-
And give me a small glimpse of eternity.

By Susan Erlin


ICSI Update

A few weeks ago I went back to Liverpool Women’s Hospital for my Catheter Test as there were some concerns on whether they would be able to complete the Egg Transfer when it came round as they had had to abort the HSG I had a few years ago as there were problems with my cervix.

I am pleased to announce that the Catheter Test went very smoothly. There was only a twinge of pain and that was when the dishy Doctor pushed the Catheter in a bit too far. Yes you did read correctly, I did say “the dishy Doctor”. His name was Richard and he was lovely (a bit young but lovely). Hubby was not very impressed when I mentioned the Dr was nice, but it did make the procedure more bearable :DD

As the Catheter Test was okay I had the go ahead to go and pick up my meds the following week (last Thursday to be exact). We arrived at the hospital with plenty of time to spare and we headed straight to Pharmacy where we picked up my meds. I must say the Pharmacist was very efficient and we were in and out in 5 minutes.

Once we had the meds we headed upstairs for our meeting with the nurse who would show us the correct way to do the injections. I was very nervous and was shaking like a leaf.

We were early but still managed to get in to our meeting ten minutes before our time. The nurse went off and got us the needles/sharps container and alcohol wipes and proceeded to demonstrate to us how to do the injection.

DH kept mentioning that it was the same way as giving a horse an injection :-/ to which I informed him I was not a horse and he had better be more gentle with me than he would be to a horse :>

We were told to use the blue needle to draw up the fluid and to use the orange needle to inject with. We were also told to check there were no air bubbles in the syringe and to inject in an arc around my belly button at a forty five degree angle.

We both practised on the dummy stomach and were reasonable competent at doing it so with our big bag of meds went back to the car.

I am to take 0.5ml of Buserelin daily from Day 3 of my cycle (which is today) and am due to go back for a baseline scan on the 29th of October.

All weekend I sweated and panicked and worked myself up about these injections. We decided to do the injection at 5pm daily so that hubby would be able to do them the majority of the time.

I bought some alcohol gel to make sure out hands are clean and sterile and washed my tummy an hour before the injection was due.

At 4.50pm we headed upstairs with our box containing the syringes, needles, alcohol wipes, alcohol gel, Buserelin vial and of course the sharps container.

I pulled my top up and lay down on the bed whilst hubby drew up the required amount of medication and hovered over me.

He asked me whether I was ready and I said I was, at which point I thought he was taking an awful long time administering the injection. Then there it was, the sharp pain as he inserted the needle into my tummy and injected the Buserelin. It then seemed an age before he took out the needle.

All in all it was relatively painless. I have a lovely little bruise to show for it and am still stressed out but am glad the first injection is done.

Now there is just another 15 injections until my baseline scan and from there I have no idea what is going to happen!!!!


Yarn Stash

Today I took the brave decision to sort out my handknitting yarn stash. I think it must have been a moment of madness.

As you can tell from this picture I have a lot of yarn and a lot of it is years old.

Stash 2008

I seem to have accumulated a lot of single balls of various colours and makes of yarn and most of it is Double Knitting in baby colours (pinks, blues, mint etc).

I must admit it was fun sorting it out and I found some yarn that I had totally forgotten about and a lot of yarn which brought back memories of when I had bought it.

I even found some sock yarn which I had totally forgotten about and realised that a lot of my yarn is not suitable for making jumpers etc for adults as their is not enough of it.

I have decided to get some finer yarn to knit up lace scarves to sell and will keep the single balls to knit up baby clothes. The rest will get used at some point (I just don’t know when yet)!!

Stash 2008 sorted

I was really surprised that I managed to fit it all back in the six boxes as I had a lot of yarn piled up in the dining room and have put it in the boxes.

I definitely recommend anyone with a lot of yarn to go through it and sort it out and these plastic tubs with lids are ideal to keep it all in as the little moths can’t attack it.

The only problem now is that hubby thinks I should sell it as a job lot as I will never manage to knit it all up :-/