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Mother’s Day

I had a lovely Mother’s Day, thanks to my hubby.

I had a gorgeous bouquet of flowers (which I was given on Saturday) and on Sunday I had a couple of lovely cards, one of which was from my beloved dogs.

On Saturday evening he took me out to our local thai restaurant and had a lovely meal.

As you can tell from the pictures we had a lovely time.

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I couldn’t resist having some pictures taken with my gorgeous flowers.

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As you can tell even Dino got to enjoy them with me.

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As you can tell Dino was worn out by the end of it all and was ready for his bed.

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Too show I wasn’t too drunk I even managed to get a quite “arty” picture of hubby enjoying the pink champagne.

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I just wanted to take this opportunity to let you all know that my ICSI has begun. We picked up the meds last Thursday and started the injections on Thursday evening. I don’t want to say too much about it all now as I would like to dedicate a post to it.

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Knitting and Hypnosis

Firstly I would like to say a big thank you to all my lovely readers who left supportive comments for me at the very difficult time I have been going through. I really appreciate all of your support and feel truly special in having such kind readers.

Last month I took part in a study on how knitting whilst listening to a hypnosis mp3 can aid weight loss.

Every day for a month I listened to an mp3 which had suggestions on getting you to eat healthier, drink more water and move around more. Whilst listening to the mp3 I knitted on a scarf which had an easy stitch pattern to memorise.

I chose to knit the Yarn Harlot One Row Scarf first which was very easy and aided in my concentrating more on what was said in the mp3.

Here is what my scarf ended up like.

One Row Scarf

The second scarf which I completed was the Eton’s Scarf and again it was a very easy stitch pattern to remember.

Eton's Scarf

Unfortunately I did not lose any weight as I found out shortly after completing the study that I had been pregnant, but it did help relax me and I found I drank more water.

If you want to find out more about hypnosis you can contact Kathryn Beck who organised the study via her website at .

Kathryn is a lovely lady and is from France but as you can download her mp3’s to listen to the distance does not really matter. I would definitely recommend anyone interested in hypnosis to have a look at her website as she offers mp3’s on a number of subjects including infertility and her prices are really reasonable.

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Miscarriages!!!

Today the worst thing that could happen happened to me, I had a miscarriage at nearly six weeks pregnant.

The exciting news was supposed to be my announcing I was pregnant, but it was not meant to be.

This morning I began bleeding and by teatime it was all over.

The trademark pulling pains which feel like someone is trying to pull your uterus out of your cervix along with the cramping and then the final stage of passing the tiny grey foetal sac in a very large blood clot (sorry for being gross).

I am devastated 😥

I had been putting off the pregnancy test until tomorrow which for some reason had been the day we had decided was safe enough to actually have a positive test. Now I wish I had done it last week, at least I would have had some time to have enjoyed being pregnant instead of not being sure.

All I can think now is what did I do wrong, was it all the walking I did on Saturday, was it because I processed and touched raw sheep’s fleece, the what if’s are endless.

I have spent most of the days in tears and the other half being really snappy and disbelief. At the moment I just want to go to sleep and not wake up for a long time.

Hubby spoke to Liverpool with regards to our next cycle of ICSI this afternoon. I am not sure whether I am going to be strong enough to go through the treatment but it is what hubby wants and we agreed that we would.

It’s not the treatment itself so much (although it is very gruelling) but the thought of it failing and having to go through this all over again. I know I should be positive but it is really difficult to do when I have just lost another baby. I had just started to get over losing my little “popcorn” in December. I have only just gotten the strength together to finish sewing the little bear together and he looks really cute sitting in my living room where I can see him every day.

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I feel empty inside again and it feels like a piece of me is missing. I just don’t believe it has happened again and I don’t understand why these little babies don’t want to stay with me. Perhaps I don’t deserve a baby, perhaps I am such a horrible person they don’t want me to be their mummy.

Last week I was constantly dreaming about a little girl with long strawberry blonde hair. She was lost and was crying and was covered in dirt but no matter how hard I tried to get to her to hold her and tell her it was okay I couldn’t, she just seemed to get further and further away from me. Perhaps this dream was telling me what the outcome would always be. I now feel like no matter how hard I chase my little baby it will always be out of reach…

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YAAAYYYYYYYY Some Knitting!!!!

I have finally gotten round to finishing off some of my knitting projects and even took photos of them.

I have been meaning to take the photos for weeks, but for some reason couldn’t find the time to do it, but you will be glad to see that they are here for you to drool over.

These socks were made out of Harry Potter’s “Dumbledore” sock yarn and the pattern is “Horcrux” which for those of you who don’t know Harry Potter is the fianl Hurcrux which is Harry Potter’s scar.

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This shoulder shawl was made out of free yarn which I had from the “Yarn Forward” knitting magazine. The pattern was also free and it was a really quick knit and is very pretty.

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This scarf was made out of some yarn from my stash and is again a free pattern from the “Yarn Forward” knitting magazine. It was originally made to put up in my Etsy shop, but my sister saw it and fell in love with it, so I sold it to her instead.

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These socks did not really come out like I wanted them to. It was my fault really as I decided to try knitting them with some yarn from my stash which happened to be Double Knitting which was a bit too thick. My way of thinking was that they would make smaller socks, but for some reason they have come out too wide. I haven’t quite decided whether to put them up for sale yet or whether to keep them for myself to wear around the house as I really love the heart pattern around the cuff.

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The past month I have been twice to a new Stitch’n’Bitch knitting club half an hour’s drive away. They are a lovely bunch of ladies and the only thing which is putting me off a little bit is that it is mostly crochet that they do and I don’t really like crocheting, but I guess as they are a nice bunch I will keep going.

The meeting is in a yarn shop and it is really difficult being surrounded by gorgeous yarn for two hours and so far I have been really good and have not succumbed to buying any. I can’t promise to remain this good though, but I will try.

Last week my Merino wool came from “White Lies Designs” in America. Joan who runs the company is brilliant and she hand-dyes the yarn herself to go with her patterns. I will take photos of the yarn next week and will unveil the pattern which I will be knitting up with it along with some other pictures of things I have knitted and hopefully some really good news….