Firstly I would like to apologise for not posting on Friday.
On Tuesday I began bleeding and by Fridy morning I knew for definite that the ICSI cycle had failed and my two little embryos had died.
All the same I had to go through the Pregnancy Test which was of course negative.
This news has really hit me hard and I am devastated. I have spent most of the time since Friday crying and trying to work out what I had done wrong. I can’t work it out as I think I did everything possible to keep my little embryos safe inside of me.
God can be so cruel and at the moment I don’t believe there is a God as if there was one surely he wouldn’t have put me through this heartache again.
On the day of Embryo Transfer the doctor had said that if this cycle did not work then she would refer us to the Miscarriage Clinic. When hubby ran the hospital to tell them the cycle had failed and asked for us to be referred to the Miscarriage Clinic he was told that since my past miscarriages had not been confirmed by my GP then we could not be referred. This has hit me really hard as I was relying on the Clinic being able to tell me why I keep losing all of my babies.
The best they could offer us was a follow up appointment with a Consultant to discuss my ICSI cycles.
I am hoping that if he will not refer us then we can get an appointment to pay privately to see the Miscarriage Clinic. This will be the last hope I have to try and get pregnant.
I really don’t know where to go from here. I so desperately want a baby and to fall pregnant but fear that this is never going to happen and I don’t think I could carry on without having a child. I feel that this is the reason I was put on Earth, I have felt like this since I can remember.
As I am gong to need all the money I can earn to fund my next cycle of ICSI I am going to be offering a 10% discount up until the end of June on all items in my Etsy store which you can find at http://www.knitterscarlet.etsy.com. All you have to do is to purchase the item you want and before paying email me with the discount code “Tinkerbell” for an amended invoice.
I will be putting up more goodies in my store over the next week or so, so please keep yours eyes peeled.