In February 1996 I sufferd my first miscarriage.
This miscarriage more than any of the others that has always stuck in my head and made me feel guilty. Some people say it wasn’t my fault, but I was one the one that climbed onto the toilet seat to close the bathroom window and fell. An hour later I began bleeding and a visit to the doctor’s and an ultrasound later confirmed that the little sac in my uterus had gone.
A few years later I came across a website called Virtual Memorials. I immediately created a memorial for my little angel, you can visit my little angels memorial by clicking here.
Every Valentine I say a special prayer for my little angel.
October 5th 1996 I should have been giving birth to my first child, that day was a very sad day for me as the guilt I had been feeling since the miscarriage finally mounted and I fell into a deep depression.
I managed to pull myself out of this depression and carry on. Christmas that year was tough, everywhere I went there were children excited and parents buying presents for their children to wrap up and put under the Christmas tree. I did not have a child anymore.
This October 5th I would have been celebrating my child’s 15th birthday. Instead of celebrating and spoiling my child I will be sitting at home snuggling with my two dogs thinking about my sweet little angel up in heaven.